Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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