Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
