U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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