Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
