Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
