Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
