He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
