I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
