And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
