The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
