I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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