We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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