So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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