It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
