i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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