just tell him i said nine months
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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