SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
