just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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