What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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