Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
