all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
