I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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