porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
