Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
