HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize