I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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