New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Someone signed my nipple.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
