i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
