All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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