She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
