do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
