ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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