quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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