Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
