hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
