Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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