She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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