God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
