Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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