Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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