i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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