Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
