sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Who died my cat blue again?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
