So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
