you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You're a waste of cheezeits
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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