I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
