Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
