Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You're a waste of cheezeits
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
