you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
