So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
