They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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