I think I just saw someone hide a body.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
