So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
