Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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