there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
