walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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