Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
