Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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