i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
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I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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