it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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