1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
