It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
